


I'll Be The Sweetest Thing To Ever Scare You

by Writing_will_be_my_death



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Melanie and georgie are dating but its very bg, Mutual Pining, No beta we kayak like Tim, Pining, Tag will be added as the story progresses, Tim and Sasha live together as friends, everybody lives au, jon still has beholding powers though, martin's mom was very neglectful, no archive au, off screen pre-story minor character death, the prologue is dialog only but the rest is normal fic format
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:27:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26990632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writing_will_be_my_death/pseuds/Writing_will_be_my_death
Summary: Jonathan Sims is the psychic and skeptic of viral youtube channel 'Ghost Hunt UK' and associated podcast 'What The Ghost?'When his trusted friend, Timothy Stoker, says his house is haunted by a friendly ghost, the skeptic act is dropped almost immediately. Tim may be a jokester, but he knows better than to lie about a supernatural spotting.
Relationships: Georgie Barker & Melanie King & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Sasha James & Tim Stoker
Comments: 106
Kudos: 194





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Me: has two tma fics im working on  
> Also me: makes this

"Welcome listeners of 'What The Ghost?' to another episode of interviews for our partner show, 'Ghost Hunt UK'. The real interview has already been done, but this exciting one will be done with me, your host, Georgie Barker. Today we're interviewing everyone's favourite, Timothy Stoker!

"For new listeners, Timothy Stoker is a long-time friend of our psychic and skeptic, Jonathan Sims. He's always up to do some research free of charge for 'Ghost Hunt UK' and loves to be a guest voice here on 'What The Ghost?'

"When Tim called Jon and claimed that the house he bought 6 months ago with his friend Sasha James is haunted by a friendly ghost, Tim's credibility immediately bypassed Jon's usual skepticism. Tim has rarely given us a false lead, and when he does give us a false lead, it’s usually quite a toss up if it's a supernatural occurrence or a regular natural occurrence before we investigate.

"But enough of my babbling! The man of the hour is here! Timothy Stoker, how are you this fine day?"

"Hey Georgie! I'm good, I mean it's a little awkward with my resident ghost, but, hey, at least it's not trying to kill us!"

"You are quite lucky it's a nice one. Mind telling the listeners and I some history about your house?"

"I don't mind at all!

"When Sasha and I were looking at it, we were told the previous owner was this really rude old lady. In her later years, she became progressively more and more bed bound. The police were called after no one had seen her nor anyone else enter or leave her house for a month, but she shouted at them from her bed. No one called the police until a robber broke in a year later, and that's when they found her dead body. It hadn't been dead too long, but the whole neighborhood is still convinced she's haunting the house."

"Do you think she's haunting the house?"

"I went over the details with Jon already, but the short answer is that Sasha and I rather think that this ghost was taking care of the old lady! I mean, do you mind if I skip ahead to our first encounter with the ghost?"

"We'd love to hear it!"

"Right, okay, so, we'd been living in the house for a month, I think it helped us unpack? Unpacking definitely went faster than it should've, but we didn't see the ghost then. Well, technically we've never seen it. Anyway, it's a month after moving in, Sasha and I had both stayed super late at our jobs, it's 2am, we both want a cup of tea, but like i said it's 2am so nothing's open and we're exhausted. And then we heard the kettle turn on."

"It just… turned on?"

"Not just that, the mugs floated out of the cupboard, and the ghost made the best tea Sasha or I have ever had."

"And you're sure it's a ghost and not… spooky tea ware?"

"God, don’t let Jon hear you call it spooky. But yeah no, we thought that's what it was at first too, but then it started helping us unload the groceries, or make the beds, or sweep the floor. Sometimes it makes us breakfast, or lunch, or dinner."

"That's… wow. A very nice ghost!"

"Yeah!"

"And what was the tipping point that made you call us?"

"Well, I had another late night at work and I was ready to just pass out on the couch, when the ghost picked me up and carried me to my bed. The ghost was freezing cold and there was a fog that began to form in the corners. I know the cold fog is a sign of one of your fourteen categories, or is it fifteen now? and I realized the ghost is probably suffering."

"Yeah, poor thing is probably quite lonely. And you're sure that it's not spiders?"

"I mean, it could be! It does put any spiders in a glass and moves them outside instead of killing them."

"Oh, so the ghost can leave the house?"

"Technically? We've only seen it go to the backyard. Probably bound to the property rather than the house."

"Sounds about right. Any other fun facts you'd like to tell us about your lonely resident?"

"Uhm… oh! Sometimes, it likes to read poetry books."

"... Interesting! Well, Melanie and I will do some extra research before we head head over to your house next week on Monday. For 'Ghost Hunt UK' viewers, the associated episode will be released the following Sunday. Thanks for being here, Tim!"

"No problem! Thanks for helping out with the ghost! See you on Monday!"

"See you Monday!

"And now, listeners, for part three of my observances of Melanie and Jon's debate over whether my cat, The Admiral, is controlled by category 3, Web, or Category 12, Slaughter…"


	2. Preparations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Melanie sighs, "God, I'm never letting Georgie do another lunch run. That job is reserved for you."
> 
> "Something we can agree on, I suppose,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also forgot to mention but the fic title is taken from the lyrics of "take me to war" by the crane wives
> 
> listen to it, it's very good

"Hi Ghost Hunt UK viewers, it's Melanie here, host of Ghost Hunt UK. Before this week's episode begins, I'd like to give a few warnings. This episode contains memory loss, possible themes of parental neglect, and themes of depression. It's a category 5 folks, and that means a lot of loneliness.

"Also, this week's episode will only be part 1. Part 2 will release the Friday after this episode goes up if all goes plan, which it might not. There's potential for a part 3, but we're not sure about it.

"But without further ado, please enjoy this week's episode of Ghost Hunt UK! And remember to follow our partner podcast, What The Ghost, and our twitter, What's Ghost Hunting, for the latest updates to our show and podcast."

××××

"I swear to god Jon, if you break my tripod-" Melanie shouts from the van.

Jon groans. "I'm not going to break your stupid tripod, calm down. It's just being difficult."

"Yeah, sure," Melanie sighs, "God, I'm never letting Georgie do another lunch run. That job is reserved for you."

"Something we can agree on, I suppose," Jon replies as the tripod finally looks like it's in the right position. "Is this… how it's supposed to be?"

"I'll look at it once I get the audio equipment out."

"I thought the camera was next?"

"No, it's tripod, audio, then camera. We've been doing this for years, Jon."

Jon doesn’t give her an answer, instead just sitting on the front steps to Tim and Sasha's house. A chill hits him from behind, and Jon pulls his sweater closer. He should've worn something thicker, investigating something from category 5, loneliness, is bound to be cold. Even on the hottest days.

At least it's less likely to be category 3.

"'You gonna laze around this whole time?" Melanie accuses as she sets the audio equipment down next to the tripod.

"You literally do not trust me with your tripod, what the hell do you expect me to do?"

"Uh, use your spooky psychic abilities to notice what's going on maybe? Obviously?"

Jon sighs. "It's cold-"

"No it's not."

"It's cold *for me*, therefore further evidence that the third inhabitant of this house belongs to category 5." He takes a moment to feel the cold tendrils seep into his body, isolating him from any potential warmth of companionship. "It's a dull cold, a soft cold. The third inhabitant is likely a victim or a very skilled assailant."

"God, save it for the show."

"You told me-"

"I know what I said!" Melanie shouts. "Doesn't mean I want to hear it right now."

"Got food!" Georgie shouts as she jogs up from the street. 

"Thank god you're back, now Jon can stop ruining my equipment."

"I wasn't ruining anything!"

"Not yet," Melanie replies with a huff as she knocks on Tim and Sasha's door. "Your food is here!" She shouts at the door.

The door opens, revealing Sasha. "Aren't you not supposed to be knocking until the shooting starts and you pretend to be meeting us for the first time today?"

"Would you rather not have your free deluxe chinese takeout?" Georgie taunts, waving a takeout bag.

"You saint!" Melanie squeals in delight as she grabs one of the bags from Georgie. "You can go back inside, Sasha, I am eating all of this."

"I know you love the bastardized stuff," Georgie replies as she kisses the top of Melanie's head. "Almost as much as you love me.

Melanie scoffs. "You are very fucking mistaken. Bastardized chinese takeout is my soulmate."

"I would appreciate something to eat, if it's not too much of a trouble," Jon interjects. The flirting between Melanie and Georgie can make filming awkward, even with the no-flirting-on-camera rule. Anything behind the scenes is unfortunately technically fair game, no matter how awkward it is for anyone else.

Jon doesn’t need to look at Melanie to watch her roll her eyes and toss whatever food she doesn't like at him. He catches it easily.

"There’s your food, and stay out of the way until we're done!" She shouts as Jon is already walking away.

The cold seeps into Jon's skin, even sitting in the back of the van, quite a distance from the house. Not even the still-hot mushroom foo yung warms him. He needs a distraction from the cold.

"-you really think they can help out the ghost?" He Hears Sasha say, and he knows he should not. 

"Yeah, Sash. I trust them, alright?" Tim replies, taking the BBQ pork rice from her.

"I just…" Sasha starts, sitting across from Tim at the dining table. "... I don't know, okay? Is it really worth it all for some polite ghost?"

"It picked me up, Sasha!" Tim cries. "It could hurt us! It could hurt you! It could hurt anyone, and I want it gone!"

"What the hell, Tim," Sasha hisses, "this isn't like you."

Jon knows he shouldn't be listening.

"I told you," he Knows Tim says. This isn't for Jon to know. "I told you what happened with Danny."

He hasn't told Jon.

"And this is nothing like that," Sasha counters.

"Not as far as-"

"'You spooky eavesdropping again?" Melanie says, breaking Jon's concentration.

"Absolutely not," Jon retorted. "You know I hate doing that."

"And I hate being a blanket hog," Melanie replies with a roll of her eyes. "Doesn't mean I don't do it. It is out of my control."

It's not meant to be comforting.

"Besides," she continues, "we need you to spend your spooky powers on helping the cat 5 occurrence, not on listening to strangers."

"That is not at all how it works-"

"-don't care-"

"-and don't call it 'spooky powers' it's a mani-"

"'Manifestation of the fear of being watched and being without secrets' yes I know, I was there when we wrote up the list," Melanie glares at him, and Jon glares back. She's one of the few people who isn't horribly unsettled by Jon's glare. Well. One of two people.

"Do you have a reason to be here, or are you just antagonizing me for no reason?" He asks, not breaking eye contact.

"We're filming in, like, 5 minutes. Get your ass to the door."

"I haven’t eaten-"

"Not my problem!" Melanie shouts, as she breaks eye contact and walks away to the door. "Your fault you were evil-eavesdropping instead of eating. And your fault people like seeing you on camera."

Jon shuts his takeout container and shoves it in a random place in the van. He quickly shuts the doors, and jogs up to Tim and Sasha's front door.

"Ready, Jon?" Georgie asks as Jon stands beside Melanie.

"Yes."

"Ready, Melanie?" 

"I am."

"Alright then, camera rolling," Georgie says, and Jon can feel the mechanical eye watching him. "And three… two… one… action!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand i continue to make poor choices lmao anyway still hope yall enjoyed it and ur comments on the last chap gave me life


	3. First Sighting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Well, for starters, I highly doubt there's a ghost," Jon says, pulling on his knowledge.
> 
> "Classic skeptic," Melanie interrupts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ bad decisions bad decisions ~  
> ~ i should be focusing on other fics ~  
> ~ but I'm v glad u all like this ~

"Hello viewers of Ghost Hunt UK!" Melanie says as she waves at the camera. "I'm your host, Melanie King, beside me is our psychic and skeptic, Jonathan Sims, and behind the camera is the brave Georgie Barker!"

"Hello!" Georgie calls.

"Today, we're outside the house of everyone's favourite Timothy Stoker and his friend Sasha James," Melanie continues. "They claim that within their house resides a third inhabitant, who also happens to be a friendly ghost. Jon, what can you tell us about this ghost?"

"Well, for starters, I highly doubt there's a ghost," Jon says, pulling on his knowledge.

"Classic skeptic," Melanie interrupts.

"That's not what I mean. With what Tim and Sasha have told us, and the research you've done, Melanie, it is almost certainly something supernatural. Ghosts, however, as defined as persisting souls of the deceased, are incredibly rare."

"Mind elaborating on that for those of us not operating on your brain waves?" Melanie retorts.

"Well, category 1, which is endings, dying, etc, doesn't like to leave things… unfinished, for lack of a better term. The few actual ghosts we've encountered have been in very unique situations where their persistence served another purpose."

"Well then, if it's not in category 1 as a ghost, what category is it?"

"We can't know for certain until further research is done, but the chill I'm getting from the house, combined with the previous owner's reputation of being lonely, I'm very inclined to say that we're dealing with someone or something in category 5."

"For new viewers, category 5 is loneliness and isolation. Not to be confused with category 8, which is vast expanses and voids of nothing," Melanie clarifies. "For a full breakdown of our categories, click the card in the corner to our new video that features our original 14 categories, plus the newest 15th category!"

Jon does his best not to scoff at Melanie's scripted addition. It's mostly scripted, what she does, and he does his best to not act like it's absolutely ridiculous. Everytime they fight, there’s a barrage of comments claiming it's repressed love for eachother. Which is really awkward, with Melanie dating Georgie, who also happens to be Jon's ex.

"But anyway," Melanie continues, snapling Jon out of his thoughts. "Let's meet our clients!"

She turns on her heel and raps her knuckles against the door. Each hit sends a wave of cold washing down Jon's spine.

"Are you sure you don't feel the cold?" He stage-whispers to Melanie.

She gives him a weird look. "I'm literally in shorts and a short sleeved tee shirt," she stage-whispers in response.

Sasha opens the door before Jon can say more. Jon is surprised he didn't already notice the thick sweater she's wearing.

"Hey guys!" She says, cheerfully. "Glad you could make it! Tim and I are so glad you're here, come on in!"

Sasha goes back inside the house as Jon and Melanie follow her.

"And… cut!" Georgie shouts. Jon can feel the moment the mechanical eye of the camera isn't recording them.

"Alright let's move this stuff inside," Melanie says as she turns around to help Georgie move the equipment.

"Sasha," Jon says, "do you have a jacket, or a blanket, I can use?"

"We can turn the heater up, actually," Sasha replies.

"No, I don't think that will help," Jon tries to explain, "it's… your third inhabitant is likely causing a false cold. Layers help, heaters tend to not."

"That's…" Sasha trails off. 

"You've never had a supernatural encounter, I assume?" Jon asks.

"No, I haven't."

"Things like this happen," Jon says. "Now let's go inside, I'd like to see what I can See before the camera starts rolling again."

"Yeah, sure!" Sasha replies as she goes inside the house, for real this time.

Jon closes the door behind him as Sasha tosses a jacket at him. He almost doesn't catch it. There's a fog that coats the floor and clings to the walls, he watches as it laps at Sasha's legs.

"Tim's over here in the living room," Sasha says as Jon puts on the jacket.

Tim is even worse than Sasha. The fog clings to his torso and arms, while his legs have been completely covered.

"Tim! I hope you're doing well!" Jon forces in a cheerful voice as he pulls Tim up into a hug.

"Uh, yeah, Jon, I'm alright," Tim replies as he awkwardly pats Jon on the back. "What's with the hug? You're not usually big on… physical contact."

"Well…" Jon starts as he pulls away from the hug. "There’s a lot of fog clinging to you. I want you to remember that you're my friend, and I care about you."

"Sorry," Sasha interjects, "what fog?"

"You know how I told you that Jon can see things that most other people can't?" Tim says.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah I didn't mean that he's like… more aware of stuff," Tim explains. "I mean he literally sees things that most people can't."

"The fog is characteristic of category 5, loneliness, as is the cold I told you about. I am extra sensitive to the cold, and I can see the fog," Jon elaborates. "Your third inhabitant likely can also see the fog, and if you become lonely enough, you might be able to see the fog too."

"You said your first encounter with the cat 5 was in the kitchen?" Melanie calls from the front entrance as she and Georgie bring in the equipment.

"Uh, yeah, it made us tea," Sasha replies.

Jon bristles as the dehumanization of the third inhabitant. It's difficult to not correct her, but bringing things up on camera is always preferred.

"Lovely," Georgie says, "we'll film there to start. See if we can catch them on camera."

"It's pretty shy, I don't know if it'll show up," Sasha continues as Melanie and Georgie begin to set up in the kitchen.

"So, you guys will walk into the kitchen, and stand about… here," Georgie says, placing a strip of tape on the ground. "Alright?"

"Yup!" Sasha replies, as Jon, Melanie, and Tim nod in agreement.

"Alright, camera rolling, and three… two… one… action!"

"So this is where you first encountered the third inhabitant of your house?" Melanie asks as they all walk into frame, the mechanical eye of the camera locking onto them.

"Yeah, we wanted tea," Sasha replies, "and it made us some."

"I'm going to stop you there, Sasha," Jon interrupts. "Typically, we prefer not to refer to supernatural occurrences with it/its pronouns. It's… irrelevant at best, and dehumanizing at worst. We like to refer to them with they/them pronouns, it tends to comfort benevolent supernatural occurrences, and makes malevolent occurrences less likely to kill you."

The kettle clicks on.

"Oh wow," Sasha says, turning to face the kettle. "That seems like a good move. Why didn't you say anything Tim?"

"Didn't think it was relevant," he spits in response.

Jon, uncharacteristically, isn't paying attention to them. He stares, instead, at and into the cascading fog that rises up from the floor near the counter the kettle rests on. 

The third inhabitant of the house, completely consumed by fog.

Jon isn't sure he can help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO 183 HUH  
> THAT WAS  
> HUH  
> YEAH  
> **EDIT**  
> AJAHFJALJSDFGAJDFGHAJH THANKS FOR OVER 100 KUDOS???? also i drew art for it but idk really how to upload art so here's to hoping it works  
> 


	4. Communication... ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The third inhabitant nearly drops the cup they're carrying. Jon must be the first person to see them in… years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my stomach hurts a fuck ton but lol gonna post this anyway. this fic contains all my poor choices lmao.

The third inhabitant, a pillar of fog even larger than Tim, hands Jon a cup of tea. He has not stopped watching them since he noticed them.

"Thank you," Jon says as he takes the cup of tea. It's surprisingly warm.

The third inhabitant stumbles slightly.

"You can see them, then?" Melanie stage whispers to Jon.

"Yes… yes I can see them," Jon cannot stop the awe in his voice.

The third inhabitant nearly drops the cup they're carrying. Jon must be the first person to see them in… years.

"Tim, how tall was the woman who used to own this house?" Jon asks, not looking away from the third inhabitant.

"Uh… I dunno," Tim says as he watches the third inhabitant pass a cup of tea to Sasha. "The neighbours might know something."

"Right then, let's wait for the third inhabitant to finish passing out tea, and then continue this discussion in the living room. To be more comfortable," Jon announces. "Georgie, what did the camera pick up?"

"Some visual distortions, nothing major, but I can definitely see where the third inhabitant is," She says with a chuckle. "Also, Tim, 'you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine," he snaps. "Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

"There’s a lot of visual distortion around you. I mean, it's around Sasha too, but mostly you."

Tim doesn't offer her an answer, and walks away from the third inhabitant, who was about to hand him his cup of tea.

"Cut, I guess," Georgie says with a sigh. They'll likely be cutting out Tim's outburst from the episode.

"I am sorry about him," Jon whispers to the third inhabitant as he takes Tim's cup of tea. "He doesn't deal with these things very well. If Tim doesn't want your tea later, well I do think it's quite good. I'll probably finish it for him."

The third inhabitant, predictably, doesn't answer. They don't move away either, however.

"It's his loss, really," Jon continues, taking a sip of his own tea. "Best tea I've ever had."

××××

Sitting on the couch, drinking Tim's cup of tea, Jon understands the strange warmth from the cup. It's like he'll never need the warmth of anything ever again, never need the touch of another person. Maybe it's a good thing Tim didn't take the tea.

"So, Jon, Melanie, you know what you want to ask Tim and Sasha?" Georgie asks from behind the camera.

"I'd actually like to ask the third inhabitant a few things while they're here," Jon says. "And that can give Melanie extra time to think of questions for Tim and Sasha."

"Not that I need it," Melanie spits.

Georgie looks through the camera's viewfinder.

"We need to upgrade this thing so we don't need it recording to see spooky stuff," she says with a sigh.

"We've been over how it works-" Jon tries to explain.

"Yeah, I know, just," Georgie starts. "Is the third inhabitant even in frame?"

"Yes, they are," He replies, shooting the third inhabitant a quick smile.

"Okay then, camera rolling, and three… two… one… action!"

"Third inhabitant of this house," Jon starts, standing up to properly face them. "I'd like to formally introduce myself and my colleagues. My name is Jonathan Sims, the woman with the blue hair is Melanie King, and the woman behind the camera is Georgie Barker. We are here because the other two inhabitants of this house, Tim and Sasha, are concerned that you may be a threat to their safety."

The fog makes a dramatic movement, sending waves of fog crashing off of themself.

"We don't want to hurt you," Jon clarifies, "we want all inhabitants of this house to be first and foremost safe. That includes you."

The third inhabitant calms down, appearing to hunch in on themself as though ashamed of their actions.

"It is, however, entirely possible that you have been unknowingly harming them," Jon says, and winces as the third inhabitant hunches in on themself even more. "I don't blame you for this. I… I have hurt people. Severely, and yet entirely accidentally."

It may just be Jon's imagination, but the fog seems to… densen. Further shape itself into a person. Jon takes it as progress.

"If you'd be amenable to answering some questions, stay right where you are. If not… feel free to leave. I will warn you that… the truth will be pulled out of you. You won't be able to lie."

The third inhabitant doesn't move.

"Very well then," Jon starts. "We'll establish that the right side of the coffee table is yes, and the left no, Understood?" A touch of compulsion is laced into the last word.

The third inhabitant moves to the right side of the coffee table.

"Good, good," Jon takes a breath. They aren't going to like the first official question. "This first question is not an accusation. I am simply required to ask it to all supernatural occurrences," he takes another breath, and fills his words with compulsion. "Do You Wish To Cause Anyone, Aside From Yourself, Harm In Any Way?"

The third inhabitant does not hesitate to move to the left side of the table.

"Do You Wish To Cause Yourself Harm In Any Way?"

There's a pressure, as the third inhabitant fights the compulsion. Already, Jon knows the answer, but the compulsion won't go away until a solid answer has been given.

Slowly, the third inhabitant makes their way over to the right side of the coffee table.

It's rare that a supernatural occurrence wants to cause themselves harm. Jon never knows what to say to those who do, even now all he can do us offer a sad smile.

"I would prefer if you weren't hurt," He tries, and it feels right to say.

The third inhabitant hunches in on themself, and Jon knows he won’t be asking all the questions he wants to today. Compulsion can be painful, afterall.

"Do You Want Us To Help You Become Visible And Properly Human?"

They sway, ever so slightly, fighting the compulsion ever so subtly, but ultimately stays on the right side.

"We record all our encounters with supernatural occurrences on the camera that Georgie has. These videos are stored in our personal archive for future reference, and may be published online later, but we'll deal with that once we have all the footage," Jon says, and takes a breath to fill his words with compulsion. "Are You Okay With Being Recorded?"

The third inhabitant stays on the right side of the coffee table.

"Are You The Woman Who Owned This House Directly Before Tim And Sasha?"

They move to the left side of the table.

"Are You Directly Related To The Woman Who Owned This House Directly Before Tim And Sasha?"

The third inhabitant goes back to the right hand side of the table.

"Are You Comfortable With Tim And Sasha Living In This House?"

They do not move from the right side.

"Thank you," Jon says, as he sits back down on the couch. "That's all the questions I will ask for now, as it can be… tiring, to have multiple compulsions forced onto you in a short period of time. Feel free to leave, we will be doing everything we can to understand your situation and help you."

Surprisingly, the third inhabitant does not leave, instead moving closer to the couch Jon is sitting on. He can't stop the bubbling accomplishment in his chest from already being favoured by the third inhabitant, nor would he want to.

"So," Melanie starts. "You said that they read poetry books?"

"Oh yeah!" Sasha replies. "I accidentally took a Keats collection back from the library, and it- they, sorry, were reading it! I assume they were at least, the pages were turning with anyone touching them."

"Interesting," Melanie notes. "Have you noticed that your heater has been on more than normal?"

"Yeah, actually. I didn't think that was related to all this, just thought it was because we were getting into a new house and it's got all these weird quirks, y'know? But then Jon mentioned that category 5 stuff can cause a false cold, and, well, it kind of makes sense now."

Jon doesn’t pay attention to Melanie and Sasha's conversation beyond that, the creeping fog along Tim's body catching his eye.

He watches as a spiralling tendril covers Tim's mouth, and worms its way to his eye.

"Tim," Jon snaps. "Get out of this house, now."

"What the hell Jon-" Tim tries to say, but Jon doesn't let him speak.

"The fog is covering your face and you need to get away from it!"

Luckily, Tim knows to take Jon seriously with supernatural things. The fog may be impacting his judgment, but this is a deep-rooted trust.

"It's not your fault," Jon whispers to the third inhabitant as he follows Tim outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shout out to my friend who didnt help me with this chap but I wanted them to and they didn't but I made it work anyway. ur awesome dude. seriously they're Mythyk here on ao3 and I know they've got a hlvrai fic going on and I personally think they're writing style is v good. they've also commented on the first two chaps of this fic I'm just cannot be bothered to figure out how to make links. go read their stuff.


	5. Observations 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Huh, s'that why Melanie always calls her brave?"
> 
> "That, and to subtly flirt on camera," Jon says with a sneer.
> 
> "Oh, come on, it can't be that bad."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am abandoning my sleep schedule. also jon and tim friendship gives me life.

The fog loses its grip on Tim almost the second he gets off the property.

"...Shit," Tim says, stopping on the sidewalk. "God, I mean I knew I was kinda pissed off at the ghost or whatever, but that was…"

"Excessive?" Jon tries.

"Yeah."

"You've said you've had an… unpleasant experience with category 10 and, well, once you've been exposed once… a second encounter is likely to be even worse," Jon explains.

"I guess that makes sense," Tim says, walking over to the van and leaning against it. "So how come you three aren't just… drowning in horrible encounters? I mean I know you've got the whole eyeball thing… but Georgie and Melanie…"

"Well for starters, Georgie is almost immune to everything supernatural. There are a few things that she is affected by… but those things tend to be harmless."

"Huh, s'that why Melanie always calls her brave?"

"That, and to subtly flirt on camera," Jon says with a sneer.

"Oh, come on, it can't be that bad."

"It's not… it's just…" Jon fumbles for his words, trying to convey what nearly happened to him and Georgie. "If they break up, for whatever reason, it could make watching old episodes… painful. Could make it impossible for them to work together."

"So, what, does Georgie protect her or something?" Tim jokes.

"Sort of," Jon replies. "Georgie and I both do our best to make sure Melanie is safe, and don't tell her I said this, but Melanie does work well under pressure. Her common sense and first impulses tend to align very well with how to stay safe in our line of work."

Tim snorts. "So that's all it takes to survive? Common sense?"

"... Yes and no," Jon says. "Melanie's common sense isn't exactly conducive to normal human interactions. She's too quick to say 'fuck off' and actually mean it, which tends to sour her interactions with actual people."

"But with supernatural things, that works?"

"Surprisingly so."

"Might have to take a page out of her book, if it works that well," Tim says with a sly smile. It wasn't too far into their friendship that Jon had been quite similar to that, and it nearly cost them their friendship.

"Don't you dare," Jon replies with his own smile in turn. "It's infuriating to work with, I can hardly stand to be in the same room as her."

Tim laughs and shakes his head.

"We should hang out more," he says. "Outside of me finding weird things for your crew to look into, I mean."

"Well, unfortunately, I need to burn bridges with your neighbours, and Ask to see what they know about the woman who owned the house before you. Care to join me?"

"Why the hell not, they already think Sasha and I are crazy for moving in there."

××××

Jon doesn’t learn much about the previous owner, or her family. She moved in with her husband about 30 years ago, and 10 years later they got a divorce. No one knows where the husband went, but they do know he took the car. She must have had family, as there were occasionally other people around the house, adults children, but they stopped showing up a few years after the divorce. 

But there's one thing Jon can't help but notice no one's mentioned.

"What was her name?" Jon asks Tim as they walk back to the van.

"Uh, who's name?"

"The woman who owned the house before you- no one has mentioned her name, not one person! It's always 'that cranky old lady' or 'that hermit of a woman' even 'the cold old hag' but not once did we hear a name!"

Tim stops. 

"You think it's the fog that's doing that?" He asks.

"Could be!" Jon replies. "The third inhabitant might not even be remembered, I mean, maybe the woman had a-a child, or remarried, or a sibling or friend who moved in, and the fog just made them…"

"...disappear."

"Quite."

Tim clears his throat.

"So, you uh, spare keys to your apartment?" He asks.

"Oh! Yes, here," Jon replies, digging the keys out of his pocket and handing them to Tim.

"Pullout's still the squeaky old thing with-"

"-with the spring you need to reposition, yes, why would I get a new one? I don't want people staying on my sofa," Jon says.

"That'll bring back memories," Tim shoots Jon a smile. "Awful ones, obviously."

"Yes, yes, don't expect me to cook you dinner, but there are plenty of frozen meals. The spring rolls are quite good."

"I'll be sure to eat them all!" Tim calls as he walks off to the bus station.

"There’s three and half boxes of them!" Jon tries to reply, but Tim has already turned around, and does not answer.

Jon looks up at Sasha and Tim's house. Surprisingly, there's no fog leaking from the windows, though the attached neighbours did say that the walls shared with Tim and Sasha are significantly colder than everywhere else.

He can see Melanie talking animatedly to Sasha through the window to the living room. Georgie is, predictably, smiling fondly at her. Jon can neither see nor See the third inhabitant in the living room with them. He continues to Look for them, no matter how difficult it may be.

His eyes are drawn above the second floor, to the attic window. It's not a place he can See into, a thick fog clouding his Sight, and neither Tim nor Sasha mentioned it as a particularly weird place.

Maybe… maybe that’s the third inhabitant's room. Maybe he'll have a better chance at communicating with them there, and be able to find out the name of the woman who lived here before Tim and Sasha.

Maybe he'll get to find out the name of the third inhabitant.

If they themself even remember it.

If the fog hasn't covered it too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short chap things went kinda bad irl and I just kinda wanted to post something. if the irl situation isn't resolved in the ideal way, next chap is probably gonna be pretty angsty and deressing since that's how I deal with my emotions.
> 
> comments would also help cheer me up- every single one puts a smile on my face.
> 
> **edit** 
> 
> The irl situation has been resolved!!! Everything is okay!!! :D to recap what happened, I thought i missed a deadline for a job, but it turns out i did not

**Author's Note:**

> hagsdjhagfjahsgfa dont support my bad choices lmao i really need to work on my big bang tma fic


End file.
